Coffee Talk: with Nicole Dunbar
It's time to introduce you to another amazing woman who I met at a networking event in Milwaukee. We actually didn't even formally meet at the event, but I was drawn to her. Although we didn’t get a chance to chat in person, I wasn’t going to let that stop me. A few days later, I followed her on social media and messaged her! Apparently, she also felt the same energy pull I felt, and we started talking back and forth. I loved everything she was saying, and as I continued keeping up with her on Instagram, I fell in love more and more. So, with that, I’d like to introduce you to Nicole.
pour up a cup, grab your journal, and let’s meet Nicole
Nicole is a therapist for teens and women and later in this post, you’ll learn more about who she works with and what kinds of therapy she offers. Before we dive into all that, though, I want to take you back a bit…
From the volleyball court to the therapy room
Nicole spent eight years coaching high school volleyball. That's actually what inspired her to go back to school and become a therapist. As she was building relationships with her players, they started coming to her with their struggles, outside of volleyball.
Being an adult they felt safe going to, that was an honor to her. Being trusted by anyone, especially by high schoolers is a pretty big deal and one Nicole didn’t take lightly. Those conversations were signs and they’re what helped her realize, this is her purpose.
During her first two years of grad school, she continued coaching. For the last year and a half, she gave herself a break. Taking a pause on coaching [to transition into working full time, starting her internship, and taking her first clients] didn’t mean she never stopped thinking about returning to coaching one day.
The healing that shaped the healer
I was curious how she decided to take the step forward and get fully licensed. Yes, young girls were going to her for a safe space and advice. Yes, she went through her own healing journey (which we get into) but how did she know it was truly her path, to be a therapist.
Nicole shared with me, that her own life experiences shaped who she is today. Her decision to become a therapist and how she shows up in the room, all of it led her to becoming a therapist. She's passionate about using what she's learned through her own mental health journey, including experiences with emotional and psychological abuse, to help other women grow, heal, and thrive.
She sees things differently now that she's a therapist. What once felt like her life being turned upside down, she now calls a blessing in disguise.
“I wouldn’t have ended up where I am today without those experiences. Additionally, the insight I gained through those experiences has allowed me to hold space for and show up for my clients in a unique and important way, and I’m grateful for that.”
Her own healing journey,
really started in 2019. Looking back, she says it's easy to see she was unhappy and probably could've started sooner. But that's always clearer in hindsight. Her life got turned upside down almost overnight that year, and for about a year after, she avoided dealing with any of it by staying as busy as possible. “I worked three jobs, I coached volleyball, and I made plans to fill every moment of every day. Because if I didn’t slow down enough to think, I didn’t have to feel it or process it.” This is something I’m sure many of us can relate to. It’s not easy to come face to face with what we’re going through, much less be honest about it and speak it aloud.
Then March 2020 happened.
The world shut down. “I was finally forced to process everything because the world shut down. There was nowhere to go. There were no plans to make and no jobs to go to. I had to be alone with my thoughts.”
The first wave of healing came from processing her emotions and getting to know herself. She started therapy, had her first astrology reading, and picked up journaling. The second wave came when she was ready to take her power back. In 2022 she moved an hour away, “baby steps,” started a job with better work life balance, adopted her rescue dog Mocha (aw), and applied to grad school.
She believes healing isn't a straight line.
“I believe healing is continuous. There will be times when wounds feel healed. And there will likely be situations that arise in the future when a bit of pressure is applied to those wounds, and we may have to pull our coping skills back out of the storage box we put them in, or even find a new strategy for healing this time around.”
Before becoming a therapist,
“I honestly dabbled in a number of passions before landing here - very Gemini of me.” When she started her undergrad degree, she imagined becoming a high school choir teacher. It made sense because she grew up singing! She still very much enjoys singing, even though only her car hears it now. Eventually, she switched her major to English, went into journalism, and quickly burned out.
After that came a string of admin assistant jobs, which she kept through grad school. She also launched an astrology business in 2023 and still offers readings today. However, none of these ever felt like the thing. They didn’t quite feel like her passion or what she was meant to do.
Fast forward to therapy and sure enough, once she started seeing clients she knew deep down that was her calling. Nerves were definitely a part of the picture, but Nicole was dedicated to learning. This brought her a kind of confidence and certainty she hadn't felt before in any of the other jobs.
She's still multi-passionate, probably always will be, but this is her focus for the foreseeable future.
What therapy with Nicole actually looks like
Right now, she offers individual therapy and a women's group called Mind, Body, Spirit, focused on holistic wellness. Her biggest focus these days is her own growth as a therapist. She's working through three certification programs over the next year or so- starting in September 2026:
An Integrative Somatic Trauma Therapy Certificate
Followed by a Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment clinician program
Then onto a Women's Mental Health Specialist Certificate
If you're thinking about starting therapy and don't know where to begin, here's what Nicole has to say:
“Research has shown time and time again that the client-therapist relationship is the most important predictor of positive outcomes in therapy. So, the most important thing is finding a therapist who you genuinely vibe with! As much as it’s hard to have to start over with someone new, it’s okay to hold out until you find the right fit. I think that means that different people may need to start in different places.”
A few ways to look:
More and more therapists have a professional presence on social media, so searching therapists in your city/state on Instagram or TikTok is one option.
If you want to be able to filter by insurance, specialty, etc., www.psychologytoday.com/us is a good resource.
For folks who don’t have insurance or are struggling to find a good fit in-network, www.openpathcollective.org is a great option for finding accessible care.
Another more affordable option is to seek out student interns at practices in your area - they often have a low fee, and they’re under supervision, so you get all of their fresh knowledge combined with their supervisor’s expertise!
Maybe you're like Nicole and thinking about becoming a therapist yourself. Here's what she'd want you to know.
“Getting a master’s degree and then, depending on the state, hundreds of internship hours and thousands of pre-licensed hours under supervision in order to reach full licensure, is no small feat. That doesn’t mean it’s not worth it! Beyond the initial commitment, there are a few things that I think are important to consider:
Are you willing to continuously invest in your personal growth and healing? This work will ask you to explore your own patterns and challenge your own assumptions. I highly recommend having your own therapist!
You’ll need to get comfortable with setting boundaries, no matter how hard it is. Most therapists are extremely empathetic people, and when we don’t have boundaries in place, that can lead to burnout quickly.
Do you love learning? This field is changing constantly, and it’s important to stay curious and continue seeking knowledge - through supervision and consultation, trainings, books, podcasts, and through our clients themselves.
It’s an incredibly meaningful career. It challenges me, fulfills me, and pushes me to grow. If that’s what you’re looking for in a career - and if you genuinely want to understand people and help them better understand themselves - it’s so rewarding!”
For rebuilding trust in yourself,
Nicole recommends:
Books: Are You Mad at Me? by Meg Josephson, LCSW. Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab, MSW, LCSW. The Set Boundaries Workbook, also by Nedra Glover Tawwab.
Podcasts: Healing CPTSD. Trauma Rewired.
Off the clock
(because she’s so much more than her career)
Born and raised in Madison, Wisconsin. Now she lives in Oconomowoc, right between Madison and Milwaukee.
When she's not running her business or in session, she's probably:
playing, watching, or talking about volleyball
hanging out with her dog (sweet Mocha)
listening to music (she loves it all but she's a huge R&B and hip hop fan)
watching Real Housewives or Love Island
reading a romance or thriller novel (a big part of our first conversation haha)
or just spending time with family and friends (isn’t that just the best?!)
That’s Nicole! Isn’t she amazing? A natural supporter, listener, and someone who practices what she preaches. I love it! You can find her on her website, here, or IG at @alignedtherapywithnicole.
If something in this stirred something in you, grab your journal and sit with it a while. That's what this is all for.
Thank you, Nicole, for trusting me with your story and just being such an incredible person all around!
